You can buy these 25 really bizarre things at the Indiana State Fair
They are sort of hidden. And you're not really looking for them, anyway.
So it's totally understandable that, amid the corn dogs, lemon shake-ups and various fried things on a stick, you don't see the scorpion bracelets, Insane Clown Posse blankets, shotgun shell lamps or grass flip-flops for sale at the Indiana State Fair.
But we did. We spent an entire day, in fact, hunting for the best tchotchke treasure at the fair and found the 25 most interesting, strange and bizarre things available for purchase.
You can buy just one, but for the low, low total of $14,936.78, you can get all 25:
1. This oversized bald eagle zip-up
It's part wool, part acrylic. And 100 percent majestic.
Where: At an unnamed booth just outside the Exposition Hall.
How much: $45.
2. This misspelled Limp Bizkit pendant
It might be more than a decade and a half since Fred Durst did it all for the nookie, but you can still wear his band close to your heart. Bonus: It comes with a black ball chain necklace, thus fully completing your time travel back to 2001.
Where: At a jewelry kiosk near the Grand Hall.
How much: $7.95.
3. This Confederate flag belly button ring
Yes, the Indiana State Fair two years ago asked vendors not to sell or display anything featuring the Confederate flag, but this belly button ring was far from the only item available: belt buckles, hats and jewelry for other parts of your body were available throughout the fair.
Where: A vendor on the north end of the fairgrounds, across from the Indiana Farm Bureau building.
How much: $6 or two for $10.
4. This Miss America 2009 seasoning
In 2009, Indiana's own Katie Stam was crowned Miss America. Longtime Brownstown-based spicemaker Marion Kay Spices paid tribute to her by naming a spice after her. The all-purpose seasoning is made from salt, black pepper, garlic and onion and "will crown the cook 'The Best.'"
Where: In the Exposition Hall.
How much: $10.
5. This (non)Hulkamania T-shirt
This witty United State of Indiana T-shirt is super soft and a gentle yellow hue, just like Hulk Hogan.
Where: In the Exposition Hall.
How much: This version was on sale for $15. A different, similar one was $25.
6. This toilet seat necklace
Hey, no judging. This is one of our favorite spots to hang out, too, so it makes total sense to celebrate that love by wearing it around your neck.
Where: At a leather and necklace booth in front of the Indiana Farmers Coliseum.
How much: $6 or two for $10.
Oh. Well. That changes this a little bit. There's nothing weird or unusual about buying a cowboy hat at the Indiana State Fair. Carry on, then.
7. These a-maizing, corny flip-flops
Make sure you get a pair that fit. You don't want to get corns. But, if you do, just shuck them in the garbage and buy new ones!
Where: The official Indiana State Fair Gift Shop inside the Indiana Farmers Coliseum.
How much: $17.98.
8. This scorpion bracelet
It's just like having the real thing attached to your wrist, only without the potential for burning, swelling, blurred vision, convulsions and/or crippling death. Not your thing? Don't worry, it comes in centipede, too!
Where: At a leather and necklace booth in front of the Indiana Farmers Coliseum.
How much: $18.
9. This Monster energy drink logo belly button ring
Yes, we're aware we've already added a belly button ring to this list, but it was necessary to include this one, too. Plus, there's a deal if you buy two anyway. Word of advice: Don't hug someone too hard while wearing this. It'll cause a Monster mash.
Where: A vendor on the north end of the fairgrounds, across from the Indiana Farm Bureau building.
How much: $6 or two for $10.
10. This queen-size Insane Clown Posse blanket
You can wrap your baby juggalettes and juggalos in this faux fur luxury blanket. The best part? The blanket's pretty dark, so it won't show any Faygo Rock N' Rye stains you'll inevitably have.
Where: In the Exposition Hall.
How much: $30.
11. This shotgun shell lamp
Just imagine it: You have guests staying the night, and they need to use the bathroom at around 2 a.m. Disoriented and not comfortable, they reach for the lamp on the nightstand and suddenly feel even more welcome in your home.
Where: Indiana Department of Natural Resources' Mother Nature's Mercantile gift shop in the DNR building.
How much: $99.
12. These sushi socks
You know what pairs well with sushi? Socky.
Where: In the Exposition Hall.
How much: Four pairs for $10 or 10 pairs for $20.
13. These carrots
Probably the best value at the fair, these carrots also will get you a handful of goopy goat saliva from the National FFA Organization petting zoo.
Where: The FFA building.
How much: $2.
14. This profession belt buckle
Oddly career-specific. Searches for a "newspaper reporter reporting on state fairs" buckle proved to be fruitless, however.
Where: Hilltop Leather, just outside the Champions Pavilion.
How much: $16.95.
15. These overly cheeky boxers
Come on, guys, this joke is a pretty easy one. But the lower-hanging fruit would be nuts.
Where: Indiana Department of Natural Resources' Mother Nature's Mercantile gift shop in the DNR building.
How much: $15.
16. This massive swim spa
There's obviously no better place to make a major purchase like this three-pump spa with nine jets and an LED color-changing light.
Where: The Royal Spa booth near the Indiana Farmers Coliseum.
How much: $14,500 (delivery, setup, stone siding and stereo system not included).
17. This light-up mouth guard
Hey, kids, if you lose your retainer for the 13th time and Mom's making you pay for the next one, just opt for this LED flashing mouth version! You'll get the same results, for sure, with the added bonus of being able to participate in a rave at any moment.
Where: Any of the multiple Murat Shriners "official toy store" locations. This was spotted at the one with the child at the cash register.
How much: $5
18. This 'Crazy Goat Lady' T-shirt
How many goats do you have to have before things move into crazy territory? Is six too many? Asking for a friend.
Where: Judy's Designs Cowgirl Glitz booth in the Exposition Hall.
How much: $25.
19. This leather raccoon keychain
You could have chosen from any of the hundreds of options here, from cuddle teddy bear to a realistic-looking unicorn or even a bald eagle. But you opted for the version that truly depicts your favorite animal: a screeching rage bottom-feeder with creepy humanlike hands and a beady little scowl.
Where: Hilltop Leather, just outside the Champions Pavilion.
How much: $3.95.
20. These grass flip-flops
Don't wear these while mowing your lawn. You'll get confused and come out of it with a few missing toes.
Where: Indiana Department of Natural Resources' Mother Nature's Mercantile gift shop in the DNR building.
How much: $20.
21. This sorry, not sorry sign
Sure, you could get a sign to say whatever you want, but why waste the creative energy when the perfect one already exists? Business owners, let your customers know how much they mean to you.
Where: From the Wooden Signs While You Wait cart near the Harvest Pavilion.
How much: $55.
22. This angry marshmallow snowman ornament
Other than the obvious extreme identity crisis (he's a s'more, snowman, stacked marshmallows AND a Christmas tree ornament?), why you so mad, little guy?
Where: Indiana Department of Natural Resources' Mother Nature's Mercantile gift shop in the DNR building.
How much: $8.
23. These leather beverage holsters
All the important things — patriotism and Smirnoff Ice — right at your hip.
Where: Hilltop Leather, just outside the Champions Pavilion.
How much: $16.95 (includes name engraving).
24. This chain mail cardigan
Go forth and dine on fried morsels and confectionery delights pierced thusly by wooden stakes, which shall provide ye enough energy to battle midway game operators.
Where: At a leather and necklace booth in front of the Indiana Farmers Coliseum.
How much: $35.
25. And all of the fidget spinners in the world
Grown-ups and children alike seem to be on the hunt for the perfectly balanced fidget spinner. Lucky for you, there's absolutely no shortage at the Indiana State Fair.
Where: Everywhere you look.
How much: $2 to $15.
They're marketed to the earliest of planners:
And to the person who wants color options:
These fidgets be fresh, yo! (You know, because of the air-tight container and all.)
When Batman plays with his fidget spinner, does his look like Robin?
Baskets and bins and boxes and buckets of fidgets.
Call IndyStar reporter Amy Bartner at (317) 444-6752. Follow her on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.