Review: 'Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom' is big on dino power, short on substance

One lesson that has always been hanging around the "Jurassic Park" movies gets hammered home but good in the massive franchise’s fifth installment: Dinosaurs rule, humans drool.  

Directed by J.A. Bayona ("A Monster Calls"), "Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom" (★★½ out of four; rated PG-13; in theaters nationwide Thursday night) has all the requisite rampaging dinos, dizzying action scenes and, sure, a few flesh-and-blood heroes running around saving the day. But there’s just not enough underneath that well-trod surface — an intriguing ethical conundrum bears heady fruit at times, yet is just as quickly shelved in favor of roaring lava or unleashed reptiles.

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The disastrous events of "Jurassic World" — and the other movies, really — should have taught mankind to quit monkeying with dino DNA. Three years after the destruction of the Titanic of theme parks, a bunch of them are still on Isla Nublar, where a volcano is about to erupt and wipe them out again. Congressional hearings — featuring Jeff Goldblum’s returning Dr. Ian Malcolm from the original "Jurassic Park" flicks — determine that their fate is in God’s hands, not mankind’s. (Which is kind of not fair because man created them and all but whatever, guys.)

One person who does want to help is Claire Dearing (Bryce Dallas Howard), the last park’s operations manager and now head of the Dinosaur Protection Group, and she’s talked into going back to the island to rescue some dinos by Benjamin Lockwood (James Cromwell), an old man who we learn was one of the key figures behind the original Jurassic Park back in the day. The plan is to create a new island sanctuary for the dinos that isn’t a public zoo — yes, that’s pretty much "The Lost World: Jurassic Park" plot, too — and Claire recruits love interest Owen Grady (Chris Pratt), since he’s the only one who can communicate with his super-smart velociraptor, Blue.

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Unsurprisingly, Claire and Owen are bamboozled and learn the nefarious conspiracy behind this dino relocation program. There's also a new creature called the Indoraptor that’s introduced as a gene-spliced monstrosity, which can also be said of "Fallen Kingdom" on the whole. It's essentially two movies, the first being a disaster movie involving Owen outrunning galloping dinos in order to survive a volcanic eruption, and the second being a spin on the haunted-house genre, where the good guys are trapped in a mansion with the Indoraptor around every corner, eerily tapping its claw while hunting prey.  

For the action scenes, Claire thankfully has traded in her heels from the last film for more sensible boots here, fitting since the human characters are really just accessories. Paleo-veterinarian Zia (Daniella Pineda) and tech whiz Franklin (Justice Smith) are the intriguing new kids who don’t get enough to do, while most everybody else is either a merciless soldier or a greedy antagonist looking to buy and/or sell dinos as weapons instead of museum pieces. Lockwood’s young granddaughter, Maisie (Isabella Sermon), does have an important role in the third act, which sets up the next movie in a way that, without saying too much, makes sense considering the trajectory of this entire series.

Still, Bayona knows why audiences flock to a "Jurassic" movie and the best thing he does is create a strong empathy for the exquisitely detailed computer-generated dinos. The T. rex continues his role of most inexplicable recurring "Jurassic" protagonist, and one horned dino busts Owen out of a jam before going to town on well-dressed rich folks. (Nine-year-old kid me would have totally known his species and every other one by heart; 42-year-old dad me is much more concerned about Owen and Blue reuniting their weird little family.)

More than ever, it’s their "Kingdom." We’re just the empty-calorie snacks.